Gone are the days when parents go all the way to know the family history of who their child is getting married to but that does not mean people no longer research into or get to know their partner before getting married.
In recent times, only few people believe in parents match-making their children, as the youths prefer to personally meet the man or the lady they intend spending the rest of their lives with. This would enable them study their character so they know if they are compatible or not.
However, in a relationship men and women need to be very careful in choosing a life partner which is the main essence of courtship before marriage. Courtship is said to be the period where lovers get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such agreement.
Despite the various qualities people look out for in their spouse before marriage, here are 10 qualities to look for in a partner before marriage:
1. COMMUNICATION: One of the most important foundations of any relationship or marriage is the capability for the spouse to communicate with one another in an open and effective manner. If couples do not communicate either through phone calls and text messages, it clearly states that they do not love each other. For a relationship to be successful, communication is key.
Also, sending gifts to your partner is a means of communication. The kind of gifts you send speaks how much you love and appreciate him or her.
2. SACRIFICE: A relationship where you don’t think there is need to sacrifice or reach a compromise with your spouse is not a healthy one.
Relationships are built on love but the strength of a relationship is dependent on sacrifices. When you’re seriously dating someone, you will inevitably need to make some sacrifices for them. This means sometimes doing things you don’t exactly want to do but you know will make your partner happy.
However, it’s important to keep in mind that a relationship is also a two-way-street, you shouldn’t be the only one making sacrifices. Your partner needs to make them as well.
3. RESPECT: Respect in a relationship is replicated in how you treat each other daily. Even if you disagree or have an argument, you should be able to respect and value each other’s opinions and feelings.
Also, respect is not about controlling the other party or making them do what you want them to do, rather it is about the freedom to be yourself and to be loved for who you are.
It is not enough for him to just show respect for you and your family and friends. You want to see him/ her demonstrating tolerance and basic goodwill to others outside of his social world.
4. LOVES YOUR FLAWS: We all bring our own baggage from past relationships into the present one but that does not mean that we should judge our partners with that. When we seek that special someone to share our life with, the disappointments of our past relationships tend to get in the way of new discoveries.
One thing all lovers have to understand is that no one is perfect but individually, you can try to be the perfect one.
5. FAITHFUL: Staying truthful in every relationship will also prevent unnecessary arguments. In most relationships, faithfulness means not having an affair with other people but it is way more than that.
Being faithful also means that you have to stay away from romantically investigating your partner. It means you staying away from going through her text messages, monitoring incoming and outgoing calls.
Here, each partner should be more bothered with showing unconditional love to each other, plan for the future and flirt with each other.
6. DOES HE/SHE TRUST YOU?: If you do not trust your partner, there is no way both of you would be happy in a relationship because you have learnt not to believe whatever he or she does talk less of say to you.
A relationship built on total honesty will never lack trust.
7. BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN YOU: You should always go for someone who brings out the best you. This will tell if you and your partner should tie the knot because before making this decision, both parties have to ask themselves, “Does this person make me better?”
8. CARING/LOVING: Never go into a relationship because your partner is beautiful or handsome but go into a relationship because your partner loves you unconditionally and cares about you endlessly.
9. DOES HE/SHE SHARE THE SAME VALUE WITH YOU?: Someone who is materialistic and enjoys splurging on extravagances probably won’t last very long with someone who is down-to-earth and likes to rough it.
However, a man who enjoys going out late with his guy friends frequently may not be the best choice for a woman who values quiet nights at home. While it is always nice for potential partners to be able to teach one another new hobbies, the core beliefs of a couple need to be similar. Marriage has ups and downs and during those difficult times, basic values in life are one of the things that keep a couple grounded.
10. GOD FEARING: In every relationship, one must learn how to commit everything into God’s hands before taking any decision. You must learn to put God first before taking any decision. Even in marriages, you must teach your family to have the fear the God in their hearts.